sex addiction

I have a problem with sex. I also have a problem with porn. I feel like both of these things are a barrier from feeling the true love of our Risen Lord. I was exposed to porn at a very young age and enjoy looking at it very much. I would say of all my addiction this is the one that is the hardest for me to control. I will look at adult scenes for hours with out even beginning to pleasure myself. But as soon as I am done with the act of self gratification I feel a deep shame. This usually involves the type of material I am viewing and the bizarre things I am thinking about. I need to get in some sort of 12 step program, I have found one at my church (Ecclesia) but the late time and the distance from my hard make going very difficult. This is a great excuse for an addict. I need to find a group near my house. The longest I have gone with out looking at porn is about a year. This is when I was committed relationship with the only girl that I have ever loved. I wasn't looking at porn but I was still self pleasuring myself to the same bizarre scenarios. Sex on the other hand is a little more difficult to come by and is usually not so satisfying either since I don't feel much unless I have strong feelings for the person. Besides that I feel pretty good with my life. Work is starting to pick up(I work in the film industry and my work is all freelance) and I'm building great relationships with friends at church. The Alpha class is amazing, (I suggest anyone who has the chance to take the class should) and I just found out that the first weekend of June the class is going on a weekend trip to the mountains of San Bernadino. This will be great since I have not had a vacation in long time. I've been trying to start my mornings with reading the New Testament and have been getting allot of knowledge out of Proverbs. Pray for me my friends and peace be with you.