Praise to The Lord

I would love to start with some prayer requests. A member of my community group Courtney's aunt just passed away. The family is not super close so hopefully the Lord can bring this family back together. My friend Amber's Uncle is also very sick and couldn't even go to Christmas with the family. I pray that the Lord takes away his pain and heals him. In a prayer update my friend's sister Heidi who had been suffering horribly from Lyme disease is finally starting to feel better. It's so amazing to see the the miracles that our Risen Lord works on a daily basis.

 I personally need some prayers. I'm at a crossroads for work and I need divine intervention. Please pray for me. In his name all things are possible, Amen!

Life's tough

Update on my request yesterday. My friend was arrested but it had to do with some warrants he had out for his arrest and not being under the influence. So I'm not sure if that's good or not, I was hoping this would be a wake up call to his bad decision making. Please keep praying that he find the path that out Lord has prepared for him. In his name all things are possible!!

A Beautiful Day

I feel very blessed at the moment, the sun is shining and my foot feels pretty good; I would like to thank everyone who prayed for me, I can feel the Lord healing me with his glorious power. I feel like the gout was a warning from the Lord to watch what I've been putting into my body. Two weeks ago I was talking to some friends about prayer and how as bad as things are there is no need to worry because our Father in Heaven loves us so much and will always provide. Well the last week has tested that, besides the horrible foot pain I also ran out of money and I am currently over drawn in the bank. With all that I still feel great, the Lord has sent so many people into my life to help me, rides from friends and another friend took me to the store and bought me weeks worth of healthy food. Praise the Lord!
Prayer requests, my friend who has children is going through the last stage of her court ordeal, I'm praying not just that she gets what she deserves I'm also praying that the Lord opens her ex's heart! I'm also praying for actor Paul Walker's family. I guess it's living in LA, you get a connection to the celebs since they are part of your community. I heard Paul was a Christian and that really makes me happy, at least he is with out Father now. Prayers also for my friend Zacrarias, the Chrons is still affecting her pretty bad. I also pray for my ex roommate Rick, he is very sick and in constant pain, I ask for the Lord to take away what ails him. I'm also praying for my friend Chris's sister Heidi who is suffering from Lyme disease, sounds like the Lord is already starting her on the road to recovery. Praise the Lord! I ask for prayers for myself, I ask to have this pain taken away from me and I also ask for doors to open at work that will lead to more success. I also pray for all the lost and wounded in the world, I pray they realize how much our Risen Father loves them and how everything is possible through him!!

Please Lord take my Pride

I've been very prideful as of late, that mixed with my drug use has made me very angry and all about myself.  ask the Lord to take the pride and anger away from me. I'm a sinner who is not worthy of our Fathers redemption and yet I know he will always forgive me. He is the perfect Father, his love is above all else. In his name all things are possible. Please contact me with any prayer requests you may have.

Being humbled

I screwed up at work last week. Before I screwed up though I was convinced that I was 100 percent right! I was even angry about how right I was!! Well it turned out I was wrong, more then wrong I fell flat on my face. My boss called me out on all of it and it felt really good being humbled. I felt better being told I was wrong then when I was convinced that I was right. I thank the Lord for the redemption that I don't deserve.

Ecclessia Community Group

So tonight was the first official meeting of the community group I joined through my church. Besides fellowship the main focus of the group is too discuss the sermon of the Sunday before. The meeting takes place in North Hollywood at a friends house. Tonight's discussion was about Romans 12 and being a living sacrifice. The other major topic was too let the Lord have vengeance since it is his and not ours. I brought up my former roommate who I did quite a bit for and said some very nasty things about me in August. I don't talk to him any more and I'm not sure if that is good but I still pray for him on the regular. The group seems good, I was able to openly talk about my drug and sex addiction. I've actually been sober for two and a half weeks, I'm proud of that. I joined another community group that starts meeting on Saturday, this group will have us going to the Ronald McDonald house and talking to sick children, I'm very excited about this! I feel very blessed to be where I'm at right now.

On the prayer front my friend Chris' sister Heidi has Lime disease and could use all the prayers you can muster. If anyone has any prayer requests please message me.

Peace be with you brothers and sisters in Christ.

The Lord is calling

I went to church really stoned on Sunday. I was on the welcome team and I talked to everyone who walked into the service. I also collected the tithes with another girl. I'm not sure for how long I was really high, I'm not really sure most of the time when I'm high. I enjoy the feeling though, I work on another level. This shames me that I always have to feel this way. At the moment I'm really high writing this, I need prayers. The service was great Pastor Joseph interviewed a women who runs an amazing congregation in Kenya. She said the Lord is changing lives in the heart of the worst slum in the world. The church I attend; Ecclesia, sends a team to Kenya every year, when they return they tell stories and it has always intrigued me. During these talks I've always had this image of having a small clothing business in Kenya. I think people become truly happy when they learn how to make things. With that in mind what she said next blew my mind. The church teaches all the uneducated how to sew dresses! Wow I have a team to make my clothes and they are believers like myself. Take a minute today and please pray for the people of Kenya.
The rest of the service was very interesting also. Pastor Joseph started a series called All In, this refers to us giving up our lives so we can gain eternal life. The service ended with one of my favorite passages, JOHN 12:23-26.

Jesus replied "The hour has come for the Son of Man to be glorified. I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds. The man who loves his life will lose it, while the man who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life. Whoever serves me must follow me; and where I am, my servant will also be. My father will honor the one who serves me."

What a great passage. Prayer requests are always welcome. I found out recently a friend of mine's father is very sick with cancer. My friend Zacarias I had mentioned before is doing a little better and been able to leave the hospital. Go in peace brothers and sisters in Christ

Temptation

Thanks to anyone who prayed for me, my quick trip to Alaska went well. I hitchhiked 300 miles over an 8 hour period and Lord be praised the only time it was really raining was when I was already in cars. The photo bellow is my bestie Audra, I went up for her surprise 30th birthday. Great times, I felt very blessed that it all worked out.

The temptation part of my post involves the copious amount of drugs awaiting me when I get home. I really do not want to smoke any weed. Please pray for me, I have this need, or should I say desire to get as high as possible. I want to forget something, but I'm not sure what. Pray for me brothers and sisters and ask that the Lord takes away this compulsion that I have.

 Please send any prayer requests you might have, go in peace friends.

The power of our father

I have been very proud lately; this is not a trait I like but I know I've enjoyed acting that way. I have many behaviors I am currently trying to end. I disappoint myself and the Lord on a daily basis with this behavior. I ask the Lord to please take away my urge for instant gratification. I want to be as high as possible, having an orgasm or just doing nothing so badly most of the time. It makes me feel gross when I lower myself to this level. I ask the same as I always ask "please Lord take away my shortcomings and these evil desires that I let into my heart along time ago" in your name all things are possible.

Last night I got a flat tire while driving my bosses car. The truck's spare tire was underneath the truck and needed a special crank to get it off. Well the crank was gone and the AAA guy couldn't do anything but offer a tow. I didn't have money for the tow and my boss needed her truck the next morning for work. Fortunately after 2 hours of praying the Lord provided us with a a tool to get the tire down. It wasn't the best night but I was thankful with the way the Lord made everything work out.

I have some prayer requests. Please e-mail me any prayer requests you may have. My friend Zacarias has crohns disease, it has been bothering her for a while and has been in the hospital quite a few times recently. We ask the Lord to heal Zacarias and let her go back to the life that she had before. I could use some prayers for an adventure I'm going on this weekend. I ask for the angels of the Lord to stand behind me during my trip and watch out for my safety. I also ask the Lord to put me where he wants and with who ever needs to know his message and know his Love.

My first post in a while

I've always felt that my life resembles our Lord's parable about the 3 seeds. I'm the seed that grows fast but doesn't have strong roots so I get blown over very easy. While I've been making mistakes lately I've been very good about not trying to just have sex with women. Recently I lost some weight and I have been getting extra attention from women. This has made being abstinent a tad harder. This feeling that I'm not happy unless I'm with somebody is still there but I know that it can't control me. Nothing more really to say, If anyone has any prayer requests please let me know.

I forgot I have this to report, Walter is doing great in Northern California, he is using half as many asthma inhalers a month and his doctor has taken him off his sleeping and high blood pressure medicine. It just shows that all things are possible in the name of our Risen Lord Jesus

made it too my first ssa meeting today

I got up at 6:30 this morning and felt very much like going back to sleep till 8. I knew I had to wake up and go to this SSA meeting in North Hollywood. If I didn't I would have one more out of control week. It's strange to realize how screwed up and addicted to weird stuff I am. I have allot of different triggers. The last week that I have been in my addiction I am ashamed to say that I rarely thought of the Lord. This pains my heart. It shows where I put the Risen Lord on my list of priorities. He is great if I don't have any drugs or porn. This is all stuff I have to work on. I'm praying that the Lord will help me find a good sponsor. I'm also going to San Diego this weekend. I hope we don't hang out with too many women. I don't want to be tempted. I'm pretty tempted at the moment. Thank you Lord Jesus for the Love that you show for us your humble children. Please Lord Jesus my faith is not as strong as I want it to be but I still Love you with all that I have, please Lord grant me strength in you so  that I may say no to the things that will harm me and hide your Light from me. Peace be with you all brethren in Christ

Back too my old ways

I've been partying since Thursday. I'm disappointed in myself, not so much for the drug use, the main reason is the constantly lustful thoughts. I have to make it too the sex addicts meeting tomorrow morning. I need a sponsor very quickly so I have someone to be held accountable too. Other than all my recent troubles things are going okay. Friday night at my church Ecclesia were giving out free coffee to the homeless of Hollywood. Were starting at 10:30 and going past midnight, it should be pretty fun. The week after that I'm helping with a big clean up at the church. Were still probably moving in July so there are allot of things to be done. Pray for me brothers and sisters in Christ as I pray for you. Peace be with you

sex addiction

I have a problem with sex. I also have a problem with porn. I feel like both of these things are a barrier from feeling the true love of our Risen Lord. I was exposed to porn at a very young age and enjoy looking at it very much. I would say of all my addiction this is the one that is the hardest for me to control. I will look at adult scenes for hours with out even beginning to pleasure myself. But as soon as I am done with the act of self gratification I feel a deep shame. This usually involves the type of material I am viewing and the bizarre things I am thinking about. I need to get in some sort of 12 step program, I have found one at my church (Ecclesia) but the late time and the distance from my hard make going very difficult. This is a great excuse for an addict. I need to find a group near my house. The longest I have gone with out looking at porn is about a year. This is when I was committed relationship with the only girl that I have ever loved. I wasn't looking at porn but I was still self pleasuring myself to the same bizarre scenarios. Sex on the other hand is a little more difficult to come by and is usually not so satisfying either since I don't feel much unless I have strong feelings for the person. Besides that I feel pretty good with my life. Work is starting to pick up(I work in the film industry and my work is all freelance) and I'm building great relationships with friends at church. The Alpha class is amazing, (I suggest anyone who has the chance to take the class should) and I just found out that the first weekend of June the class is going on a weekend trip to the mountains of San Bernadino. This will be great since I have not had a vacation in long time. I've been trying to start my mornings with reading the New Testament and have been getting allot of knowledge out of Proverbs. Pray for me my friends and peace be with you.