obsessed with money

I have a hard time not thinking about money and the bills I have to pay. The worst part is I have plenty of money to pay everything but i still have a obsessive compulsion to make list and think about how I am going to spend every dollar. I ask the Lord to take this away from me. This was a quick entry, now back to work. Peace be with you

our Church needs a new home

My church Ecclesia is located on Hollywood Blvd at an old amazing theater. Unfortunately we found out a few months ago that the owners are renewing the lease. The church has been having prayer at noon every Wednesday in the hopes of the Lord finding us a great new place. As of last week we found two locations, neither are big enough for our needs, we have 1000 people in our congregation. If we go to either of these locations we will have to have 3 services every Sunday. If your the praying type please pray that the committee looking for our new location gets guidance from the Lord. Help guide them too the right location and too the right people who will help us. Also if your in the Hollywood area stop on by and check out our church, we would love too see you. Peace be with you brothers and sisters in Christ.

sex addiction

I have a problem with sex. I also have a problem with porn. I feel like both of these things are a barrier from feeling the true love of our Risen Lord. I was exposed to porn at a very young age and enjoy looking at it very much. I would say of all my addiction this is the one that is the hardest for me to control. I will look at adult scenes for hours with out even beginning to pleasure myself. But as soon as I am done with the act of self gratification I feel a deep shame. This usually involves the type of material I am viewing and the bizarre things I am thinking about. I need to get in some sort of 12 step program, I have found one at my church (Ecclesia) but the late time and the distance from my hard make going very difficult. This is a great excuse for an addict. I need to find a group near my house. The longest I have gone with out looking at porn is about a year. This is when I was committed relationship with the only girl that I have ever loved. I wasn't looking at porn but I was still self pleasuring myself to the same bizarre scenarios. Sex on the other hand is a little more difficult to come by and is usually not so satisfying either since I don't feel much unless I have strong feelings for the person. Besides that I feel pretty good with my life. Work is starting to pick up(I work in the film industry and my work is all freelance) and I'm building great relationships with friends at church. The Alpha class is amazing, (I suggest anyone who has the chance to take the class should) and I just found out that the first weekend of June the class is going on a weekend trip to the mountains of San Bernadino. This will be great since I have not had a vacation in long time. I've been trying to start my mornings with reading the New Testament and have been getting allot of knowledge out of Proverbs. Pray for me my friends and peace be with you.

Alpha class

I started the Alpha class last night at Ecclesia. It's a ten week course that has been around for close to 30 years. Each week the class starts with dinner. Last night was chicken, Spanish rice and fruit salad. After we ate and got to know each of the people at our table we watched a video. The subject of the video was a Vicker in the Church of England talking about his experiences in his early life as an atheist. Then he talked about how he was always missing something. The video lasted about 40 minutes. We had a short break, rice krispy treats were served and we started to discuss what we thought about the video. There are four people at my table, this is who we will sit next too for the rest of the time. I had a great group lots of interesting ideas, one guy goes to church at Ecclesia but is not sure if he believes in anything. It's great to have the Lord put this person with us. He will bring a fresh perspective to our beliefs and hopefully he will grow to discover the everlasting love of our Risen Lord. Well it's time for bed till tomorrow.  

I've been angry today

I was almost ran over today by some kids racing through Glendale in a Mercedes. I yelled at them and then rode my bike a few blocks out of the way so I could scream at them again when they parked at a 7-11. It was funny because they just stared at me while I threatened the 4 of them with the police. That was my 2nd time losing my temper today. My blind one legged roommate came home last night. He was very emotional early in the day and was crying allot. He had been in the hospital for a while. Well he fell asleep around 6 and woke up around midnight. I had been meaning to have a conversation with him when he was released. He does some very hypocritical things and loves to bring up Christ on a regular basis. He woke me up a few times, the last time was at 2:30 am, I stayed up with him for an hour, made him a sandwich and fed him. He was able to move around okay but still insisted that I feed him. At 3:30 I told him I had to sleep because I had to work at 6am. He said his stomach was hurting and I guess he wanted me to stay up with him. I've known pain more than a few times and have been grateful for the chairity of other. I told him to go to sleep, 30 minutes later I was still not able to sleep when I heard a thump. My roommate had decided to go for a walk, of course with out a leg he fell right to the ground. I helped him up and was a little angry with him but I also didn't care, he has lived a self destructive life and this is just one more thing. I'm not sure what to do, I don't know if I want to live with him any more, he is going to be in the hospital for a while. At the same time I know that if he wanted to come back to the house I would gladly take care of them. I need guidance from the Lord and prayers, I need my roommates heart and mind to open. I've asked for forgiveness and the power from the Lord to be a better stronger person. Praise the Risen Lord and peace be with you.